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Tuesday, October 19, 2004

back again....

The exam fever has vanished. And now it’s the holiday fever that has gripped me tightly. Firstly, let me thank you people (rik, hemanth, suhail, jhanvi ,sriram chirayu, vardan, niyati, harsha, and teju) for your best wishes. Your wishes rubbed off some charm on my exams as most of my papers went well. Hard cracking on easy nuts!!!.

There are times, when I wish to be isolated from the crowd and just sit and stare at the vast expanse of space. These are moments, when thoughts and musings never flush into my brain channel. A thick blanket of emptiness engulfs me and I enjoy being submersed in it. The emptiness running deep into my veins, the chills of calmness freezing down the last gripping pain. Solitude, sometimes, is a great pleasure. It is a crowning resort for pained hearts and a mad craving desire for this bliss of solitude took over me, last Tuesday.

The wind storming over
The rain calling me
I never sensed such euphoria
The clouds looking down at me
The sun beaming at me
Everyone around
Happy for me

But my heart’s heavy
The tears welling
The feelings wandering in unknown deserts
No breeze of joy
No sight of pleasure
Jocund faces around
But I am drowned
Amidst my inner gloominess
I am their princess
But I sense no pleasure.

I have a desire
The pangs of which
Bound me, to the shackles of frustration…..
I wish to break loose
Wish to get away from the
Showers of happiness,
I just wish to be alone.
Me, me ………………………….n only me.

That was on Tuesday, last week.

Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday were days filled with joy and excitement. Days, marked with fun!!!!. Friends and cousins enchanted the melting walls of materialistic fun and lust. Sunday had been a purely masti maro day.

Monday…dawned with the wings of boredom. Tuesday is no better, as the goddess of laziness has taken over me…. I just don’t feel like typing anymore…. Hoping for a better Wednesday…………

Sunday, October 10, 2004


exams from tomorrow!!!!!. would be busy and hence, wouldn't be posting for some time...

all you guys n gals, out there.... have a nice week n wish me "good luck"!

Saturday, October 02, 2004

dawning realization....

Parents! Oh! How I wish to maintain a nice rapport with them. These days, nothing seems to be working my way. Every other day, I have a fight over trivial issues with my mom. She never seems to understand my point of view. She’s always stuck down with her own fragmented, invented or rather say, discovered policies and rules. Father, on the other side always appeared to bloom with greener pastures. So, whenever I found, the land on my mother’s side parched up due to my mistakes and failures, I let her seismic waves of fury transmit through me and then run towards the greener pasture for solace and comfort. Solace and comfort, is something, I often got, for my father’s heart is a land of evergreen Savannas, which never shuts the door on forlorn souls and welcomes them heartily, providing the soothing heart balm. His land is an oasis for people caught in a sandstorm, and I more often than usual, have been his land’s often visited Bedouin. And I always thought that these goodie-goodie things about my father’s vast heart land will provide me its warm shelter, whenever I smell the dust raising on my mom’s land. Oh! But how foolish I had been, in not understanding that these two lands form the ground for my existence and I cant totally depend on just one of them. And today, I learnt and realized it, the hard way.